I am a gay woman of colour. I have studied Gender and Sexuality for four years, am getting my Masters in the same, have acted for many years in drag, and want to eventually write a book about Drag and Gendered Performance.
And here is what unnerves me a little about the androgyny on Tumblr. I feel alienated by it. For the simple reason that my body/mind/sexuality is left out. Androgyny is an aesthetic. But it is also gender performance, an intellectual perspective and a sexual identity. I am androgynous. Not by aesthetic always. My clothing may reflect it sometimes. I spend a lot of time in drag, and my gender identity encompasses every breast-bind, every change of shadow on my face. But it is not my only body. And I have many bodies, and many mental states, and many bedroom moves – and they are androgynous.
Don’t get me wrong. Aesthetically androgynous women are GORGEOUS. Aesthetic androgyny is GLORIOUS. I am uber attracted to androgynous ladies. Have dated quite a few. But it is not the only androgyny. And sometimes, I want people to remember me. To recognize that you don’t need to know me to consider the possibility of a particular identity. To remember that this identity lies in my stride, in my gender performance, in my mind. To know that I can bend my gender to match you, to contrast to yours, and to fit my will. And all of it is authentic, is genuine, is mine.
I use my makeup to gloss my mouth and shade my eyes sometimes, and to texture my facial hair and draw on a mustache sometimes. The same tools on the same body. The same mind in the same body. A combination of masculine and feminine in the same body.
See me. I can be anything from femme to super butch to quite a motherfucking sexy drag king. I’m not going to wax Foucauldian about gender identities, because I want to break it down to this – androgyny is more than its popular representation. It is something that is visceral, and I do not want it underrepresented. And I am nervous because I don’t want to encroach on the aesthetically androgynous groups, but I want to make myself heard. ANDROGYNY IS OF THE MIND. Beyond all else.
Sometimes it looks like me. Like this.